you were picking blackberries and her lips were stained and you couldn’t stop staring. she kept reaching to cover her mouth. “is something in my teeth?” she kept asking, and you kept just saying, no, no, no, i promise.
right now the two of you are dancing around a something-that’s-not-nothing and it swells up between you, too vague to know the shape of it yet. how do you tell her without scaring her off that she takes up a whole house in your head.
you’re scared of the might-be might-be because what if this is the moment and you miss it but worse what if it’s not the moment and you mess it all up, so you watch her and you pick blackberries and you don’t say, holy shit you’re goregous
finally realized that i was never asking for too much, i was just asking the wrong person
Trauma survivors on tv: (beautifully broken, delivers tearful speech on their traumas, hug it out)
Me: (describes abusive event and laughs) BOY THAT SURE WAS FUCKED UP